First and last

As the days go by, some go fast, some seem to never end, our lives change so fast.

During my illness Madison was successfully weaned off. she was mad at me for a few days I think, but then got over it. For a substitute she now likes to blow raspberries on my chest and falls asleep on top of me.

I do miss the tender moments of breastfeeding  but it is nice to be able to wear my old bras and not get hungry every half an hour.

Madison finally let go of our hands and took her first steps on her own  last monday. She trottles around like a little ducky- it's so cute. she would still crawl when she needs to get somewhere fast and demands a supporting finger now and then.

she seems like such a big girl now. she points to what she wants and loves to talk on the phone. This morning she gave me the phone and said "dada" like she wanted me to call him.

She has these lengthy conversations on the phone, thank god they are free.

Life Uncommon

It's almost 7 am and this is the first time I have slept through the night in over a year. I feel ready ti take over the world

It' s been quite a while since I wrote.

My life seems to be chaotic now and then. 

And then all of a sudden everything seems peaceful and blissful again.

A few days ago Madison gave me my first kiss. I was lying on the floor in her room pretending to be asleep ( so i can get her to sleep) she crawled over to me and gave me a real little peck on the cheek with sound effects and all. It melted my heart. 

Last week she did have another seizure, that time we had to give her Diastat and poor thing wasn't looking so good.

On the bright side when i broke it to my pediatrician that we are going to "delay" her vaccinations until she is stable he seemed almost apologetic that he hadn't waited longer to give her the MMR and completely agreed with that she shouldn't get any more shots for the time being.

I have been sick since Wednesday- bad fever, achy all over ( i could swear i felt my toes hurt), nauseous,   my stomach hurts, diarrhea, headache = a miserable thing. The doctor calls it acute gastroentiritis that ended with a massive migrane. I haven't eaten since Wednesday pretty much and every time i put something in my mouth my stomach makes noises  like it's doing construction.

Speaking of terrible because of this annoying disease i have been keeping away from my little girl ( oh, the torture). I sleep in the other room. Daddy and the nanny take care of her all the time. I have hardly touched her in days and it hurts.  I guess when you share every waking and sleeping moment with someone for so long  it's hard to separate. 

I haven't been breasfeeding her either, because of medications and not to give her the bug and because daddy is taking this opportunity to wean her off.  She hasn't nursed in more than a day now and only once before that. I haven't heard her cry last night so I wonder if she slept through the night. I miss her falling asleep while nursing so peaceful and so blissful. But I also want to wean her off. I want to be able to get dressed without thinking 'I can't breastfeed in this outfit'. And I want to have a few months off before I get pregnant again. YEs, I am looking forward to that.

JEff taking care of her for a few days has been wonderful. And despite the fact that my house is a mess, there are bottles and glasses of milk laying everywhere, and Madison has spent too much time watching TV I think i fell in love with my husband all over again. 

Life is so full of surprises!

E