Yep, Madison was one month old this past Sunday. Sometimes I am amazed that we have made it so far with no major disasters.
On our trip to the doctor yesterday we found out Maddie is 9.9 lbs and 22 inches long and growing beautifully. She is finally able to keep her eyes locked on a subject and looks at you when you are talking to her.
Yes looking back to a month ago our lives have completely changed. Looking in retrospect to 2007 it has been quite a busy year for us. We started by getting engaged and two months later we were married, less than two months after that we found out we were pregnant. Jeff started a new job and we expanded into a much bigger place to accomodate our growing family. I got my Green Card in 4 months after waiting for it for almost a decade. still too late though because by the time i could actually leave the country i was too pregnant so the honeymoon had to be pstponed for a different year. I finally graduated with a BA in anthropology after jumping from school to school and from major to major for almost a decade. And we even managed to have our baby before the end of 2007.
Let's see did i miss something- yes, I became Jewish in September and i think that pretty much covers last year. Looking forward to what this year is going to bring, although i gotta say it's been pretty exciting so far.
E
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The joys of fatherhood
They never talk about it in books or TV shows but it seems to me that the joys of fatherhood are rarely spoken about and very important.
Daddy gets to sleep through the night because mommy feels guilty that he has to go to work in the morning and on weekends daddy gets to choose when to take care of the kid- oh, I am tired I will take care of her tomorrow morning but can you feed her now. Daddy gets to feed her with bottles whenever he decides she is hungry ( what that decision is based on is a mystery since he spends an average of 2 -3 hours a day with her), but when it comes to washing the dirty bottles Daddy all of a sudden has no clue how to do it. All of a sudden washing a 4 oz bottle and a nipple is much harder than, let's see building California closets out of nowhere, putting up shelves and running cable wires all around the apartment. Funny how ona can graduate with a Law degree from Harvard but can't figure out how to stick a soaped brush into a bottle and wash out the left over milk. Daddies gets to choose when to change the diaper and can put together car seats and wipe warmers but emptying the diaper ginnie is out of question. Daddies get to give you all the advice on how you are overpumping, when she is hungry, when you should let her sleep and how you should put on a schedule so that she can sleep through the night but when it comes to actually helping you they are nowhere to be found. No wait, I know where Daddy is- he is in bed watching a rerun of Desparate housewives while you are giving baby a bath, and cleaning up the mess after that and feeding her and calming her down and putting her to sleep. And God forbid you intrude on his quiet time by running the hairdryer so that she is calm enough to eat without chewing off your nipple. Daddies get to go work and come home to ask did you take a picture of her today? while you are struggling to put a onsie over her screaming head. Why do I need a picture of her - I look at her all day long and I share the most precious moments with her.
and you know what when she finally calms down and relaxes her little body against my chest and drifts off into deep blissful sleep I don't care any more that i am cold, angry, sleep deprived, hungry or that i haven't been able to go to the bathroom or have a sip of water for the last 4 hours. All that matters then is that i am here for her and that she is content and the satisfaction I get from that feeling, i wouldn't give that feeling away for all the sleep in the world. When she drools on my chest and giggles in her sleep that's when i get all the "thank you" i need for the countless hours of not sleeping, anger, hunger and frustration. And you know what, Daddy, I wouldn't give that up for the pitiful 3 hours you spend with her that she is awake. I wouldn't swap it for the luxury of watching TV or going out and talking to adults or having a life. No, I pity you because you will never know that bliss and it's your choice and your loss. I don't need to have a life, I gave life.
E
Daddy gets to sleep through the night because mommy feels guilty that he has to go to work in the morning and on weekends daddy gets to choose when to take care of the kid- oh, I am tired I will take care of her tomorrow morning but can you feed her now. Daddy gets to feed her with bottles whenever he decides she is hungry ( what that decision is based on is a mystery since he spends an average of 2 -3 hours a day with her), but when it comes to washing the dirty bottles Daddy all of a sudden has no clue how to do it. All of a sudden washing a 4 oz bottle and a nipple is much harder than, let's see building California closets out of nowhere, putting up shelves and running cable wires all around the apartment. Funny how ona can graduate with a Law degree from Harvard but can't figure out how to stick a soaped brush into a bottle and wash out the left over milk. Daddies gets to choose when to change the diaper and can put together car seats and wipe warmers but emptying the diaper ginnie is out of question. Daddies get to give you all the advice on how you are overpumping, when she is hungry, when you should let her sleep and how you should put on a schedule so that she can sleep through the night but when it comes to actually helping you they are nowhere to be found. No wait, I know where Daddy is- he is in bed watching a rerun of Desparate housewives while you are giving baby a bath, and cleaning up the mess after that and feeding her and calming her down and putting her to sleep. And God forbid you intrude on his quiet time by running the hairdryer so that she is calm enough to eat without chewing off your nipple. Daddies get to go work and come home to ask did you take a picture of her today? while you are struggling to put a onsie over her screaming head. Why do I need a picture of her - I look at her all day long and I share the most precious moments with her.
and you know what when she finally calms down and relaxes her little body against my chest and drifts off into deep blissful sleep I don't care any more that i am cold, angry, sleep deprived, hungry or that i haven't been able to go to the bathroom or have a sip of water for the last 4 hours. All that matters then is that i am here for her and that she is content and the satisfaction I get from that feeling, i wouldn't give that feeling away for all the sleep in the world. When she drools on my chest and giggles in her sleep that's when i get all the "thank you" i need for the countless hours of not sleeping, anger, hunger and frustration. And you know what, Daddy, I wouldn't give that up for the pitiful 3 hours you spend with her that she is awake. I wouldn't swap it for the luxury of watching TV or going out and talking to adults or having a life. No, I pity you because you will never know that bliss and it's your choice and your loss. I don't need to have a life, I gave life.
E
Friday, January 25, 2008
The fourth trimester
It's amazing how little things and different views can alter our states of mind. Especially with babies. It's amazing how much we can learn from these tiny people who have no concept of the world around them yet.
Madison has taught me so much already- to ignore the clock and just enjoy the moment, not to make plans because things can change at any given time, that we can't live our lives on a tight schedule, but need to have fun instead. And mostly she taught me how to let go of my ego and love selflessly without inhibitions. It's amazing how much we can learn about ourselves from babies.
A book that has been sitting on my shelf for a while now taught me how to to make her happy. "The happiest baby on the block" is a book about the fourth trimester and how to activate the baby's calming reflex. Just like everything else these days i started to read it and never finished it. Just like everything else i do i believed some of the stuff, some i dismissed as nonsense. Until my doula demonstrated how incredibly well this stuff works.
she brought me a video from the same guy who wrote the book and she herself calms Madison and puts her to sleep in no time. So i had no choice but to believe everything the book teaches. The premise is that because babies are born prematurely compared to all other mammals ( they have to be since a head any bigger is not fitting through birth canal without ripping the mother in two) the first three months are the last trimester they were supposed to spend in the womb. so to calm them down all you need to do is make them feel at home, the womb that is.
Wrap them up real tight, no worries they are used to be squeezed. Turn on the hair dryer, or the fan or whatever other appliances is handy and makes a lot of noise. Turn them on their side and jiggle them like you mean it. so simple. I had tried these things separately and they sort of worked. Last night i had no more patience and tried them all together. She didn't move from 11:30 till 4:30. And mommy got the longest strech of sleep since Madison was born. Yes, i woke up because my boobs were bursting and i had to pump but there was no crying baby to deal with.
Can't wait to show this stuff to my husband- it works like a charm. Yeah, he'll be sceptical at first but who cares.
she is asleep now and the hair dryer is blowing away next to me. But i remember when i was little i wanted my mom to point the hairdryer to my feet and i would drift off blissfully- it's the small things that makes us happy.
E
Madison has taught me so much already- to ignore the clock and just enjoy the moment, not to make plans because things can change at any given time, that we can't live our lives on a tight schedule, but need to have fun instead. And mostly she taught me how to let go of my ego and love selflessly without inhibitions. It's amazing how much we can learn about ourselves from babies.
A book that has been sitting on my shelf for a while now taught me how to to make her happy. "The happiest baby on the block" is a book about the fourth trimester and how to activate the baby's calming reflex. Just like everything else these days i started to read it and never finished it. Just like everything else i do i believed some of the stuff, some i dismissed as nonsense. Until my doula demonstrated how incredibly well this stuff works.
she brought me a video from the same guy who wrote the book and she herself calms Madison and puts her to sleep in no time. So i had no choice but to believe everything the book teaches. The premise is that because babies are born prematurely compared to all other mammals ( they have to be since a head any bigger is not fitting through birth canal without ripping the mother in two) the first three months are the last trimester they were supposed to spend in the womb. so to calm them down all you need to do is make them feel at home, the womb that is.
Wrap them up real tight, no worries they are used to be squeezed. Turn on the hair dryer, or the fan or whatever other appliances is handy and makes a lot of noise. Turn them on their side and jiggle them like you mean it. so simple. I had tried these things separately and they sort of worked. Last night i had no more patience and tried them all together. She didn't move from 11:30 till 4:30. And mommy got the longest strech of sleep since Madison was born. Yes, i woke up because my boobs were bursting and i had to pump but there was no crying baby to deal with.
Can't wait to show this stuff to my husband- it works like a charm. Yeah, he'll be sceptical at first but who cares.
she is asleep now and the hair dryer is blowing away next to me. But i remember when i was little i wanted my mom to point the hairdryer to my feet and i would drift off blissfully- it's the small things that makes us happy.
E
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
One happy baby
From what everyone says we are lucky to have a baby like Madison.
She sleeps a lot, eats a lot, stays up for a couple of hours a day and just watches the world go by and really cries only when she needs something.
Here are some pictures we took especially for daddy this morning, so that he can see her while he is in San Diego for work.
she is now happily sleeping in her swing and laughing in her sleep!
We miss you daddy!
M&E
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
success!!
It took me some time but it's worth it. After one unsuccessful attempt the photos are up and looking great.
Not sure that daddy will appreciate posting his half naked picture on the web- might ruin his impeccable reputation, but hey he's looking pretty good!
other than that being a mommy is going great- sleepless nights, poopy diapers and huge burps... but it's wonderful to look Maddie and see her grow each day. she is growing all right with the amounts of milk she eats. Thank God i have no trouble producing.speaking of which half my freezer is full with human mil and i am not sure what to do with it. hopefully i can donate some- otherwise we'll have to buy a new freezer just for Madison's food.
here are some more photos...
E
Some pics
My nanny started today and i found myself with some free time on my hands. So i finally uploaded pictures on the computer and introduced Maddie to the online world.
Let's see if this was successful and if so there will be more.
E
Let's see if this was successful and if so there will be more.
E
Monday, January 14, 2008
The joys of motherhood
along with the little precious moments come the pangs of fear that I am doing something wrong, that I am not a good mother, that maybe i am feeding her too much or not enough, that she's not on a schedule and so many other things that worry me.
Partially because I am sleep deprived, partially because everything is so new at times it seems quite intimidating.
Last night we managed to give her a bath without drowning her which gave me some more confidence. Today i can't seem to get her to nap for more than half an hour and i can't figure out what i am doing wrong.
Certain family members, i am talking grandparents here, seem to have claims that she is theirs and they have the right to see her, take her and do whatever they want whenever they want. No one seems to acknowledge the fact that i carried her for 10 months (it is 10 and all the movies and TV shows that claim it's 9 need to get their facts straight) and I labored with her over an entire weekend. I was the one pushing her little body, that had turned face up and threatened to break my tailbone, for the longest 3 hours of my life. and it was me who had to hand express countless ounces of milk, while my nipples were healing after she chewed them up. So very soon i will let them know that they can't just come and say " of course i am going to come and see my granddaughter" or i "want to take care of her for a week". Back off people. She is mine. and maybe i am overprotective and paranoid but i want to enjoy my baby- she will never be this tiny and helpless again and i want to make sure that she is ok. And i love watching her sleep.
She was just laughing in her sleep and i love that little shiny laugh. It is like a thousand little raindrops dancing in the spring creating the most wonderful sound ever. I want to hear her laughter all the time.
E
Partially because I am sleep deprived, partially because everything is so new at times it seems quite intimidating.
Last night we managed to give her a bath without drowning her which gave me some more confidence. Today i can't seem to get her to nap for more than half an hour and i can't figure out what i am doing wrong.
Certain family members, i am talking grandparents here, seem to have claims that she is theirs and they have the right to see her, take her and do whatever they want whenever they want. No one seems to acknowledge the fact that i carried her for 10 months (it is 10 and all the movies and TV shows that claim it's 9 need to get their facts straight) and I labored with her over an entire weekend. I was the one pushing her little body, that had turned face up and threatened to break my tailbone, for the longest 3 hours of my life. and it was me who had to hand express countless ounces of milk, while my nipples were healing after she chewed them up. So very soon i will let them know that they can't just come and say " of course i am going to come and see my granddaughter" or i "want to take care of her for a week". Back off people. She is mine. and maybe i am overprotective and paranoid but i want to enjoy my baby- she will never be this tiny and helpless again and i want to make sure that she is ok. And i love watching her sleep.
She was just laughing in her sleep and i love that little shiny laugh. It is like a thousand little raindrops dancing in the spring creating the most wonderful sound ever. I want to hear her laughter all the time.
E
Friday, January 11, 2008
no more buldging belly
It has been almost two weeks since Madison Lorelai Litvack entered this fascinating world, and it has been quite a fascinating time.I miss her moving inside me but she is so much joy to look at. She is picture perfect and with such sweet nature so far. She's been calm and alert, sleeping most of the day away and only crying to let us know that she needs to eat.
I can just sit and stare at her for hours. sometimes i look at her and i can't believe she is mine. the concept of being a mommy seems so hard to grasp at times.
When fell in love with Jeff I thought that there is no way i can love someone more than i love him. When Madison was born i loved her so much i could burst. I never thought it as possible to love someone so much. Loving Madison made me love Jeff even more- she is part of both of us and makes so happy, even when we haven't slept enough and spend the wee hours of the night trying to put her to sleep.
I can just sit and stare at her for hours. sometimes i look at her and i can't believe she is mine. the concept of being a mommy seems so hard to grasp at times.
When fell in love with Jeff I thought that there is no way i can love someone more than i love him. When Madison was born i loved her so much i could burst. I never thought it as possible to love someone so much. Loving Madison made me love Jeff even more- she is part of both of us and makes so happy, even when we haven't slept enough and spend the wee hours of the night trying to put her to sleep.
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