It's not that I didn't have anything to say but that i hardly had the time and sometimes the desire to write.
But for the past few days I have been wanting to come back to this.
I had a great time following Madison's development while she was in my belly and I feel like I am missing out on doing the same with Max.
It really has been a long time- I am almost 7 months pregnant and this time we are having a boy- as much as i wanted a boy last time, this time I wanted another girl. But in the end I am happy with the way it is.
So many things have happened since last May. Madison went through 8 months seizurefree only to start again right before Thanksgiving. I feel like we are back to square 1, although I think I took it better this time.
We had a great birthday party for her but now I definitely feel like we have entered the terrible two's.
I am hoping to go back to school in the fall for my master's. Cross your fingers I get accepted.
Madison might start pre-school as well, still debating it and the high cost is not the main reason. We were accepted in one school but they refuse to give her Diastat in case of a seizure. To me her safety is the priority and I wouldn't want her to be in danger.
Max is scheduled to arrive on April 11, two days after my birthday although i am hoping not to have the same birthday. It has been a different experience altogether but not one that I have enjoyed. Pregnancy is not my thing. The first 4 months were horrific with the nausea and fatigue, especially when the excitement is not as great as with the first one. Since then it has been better but I have no appreciation for the bloating, stretching and discomfort of being pregnant. Since I can feel him move I now am more excited but can't wait for it to be over.
I guess this is why I've had this urgency to write- I feel like I had this connection with Madison even before she was born and I am missing that feeling with him.
I hope that by the time he's born we'll be more 'n sync with each other.
E
