First times

Everything has a first time. First time making cookies, first time waterskiing, first date,first day at school. Into each and every first we step with our preconceptions, fears and expectations. But what made us so fearful of the first times. Why does it have that unusual ring to it? Is it because even with all the anxious expectations we don't really know how it will turn out? Is is because we are trying to expect the unexpected? And if we fail do we get up and try again? sometimes we do, more often we say "I can't do it" and give it up for something more ...convenient, like things we know how to do. what we forget is that for everything there was a first time.
Do you remember the first time you tried to walk? Or even stand up? did yo give up and say "It's not for me" . Chances are you didn't. You fell, you scraped yourself and tried again. And again. And again. Until you got strong enough and there you were not only balancing on your two feet but taking a few unsteady steps.It was a victory. and today you walk to work and you don't even notice that you are walking because you are too busy talking on the phone , or reading the paper. That was of course before you can remember and therefore before some serious, gravity abiding grown up told you you should be afraid. Or that you can't do certain things.
The fear of first things is not embedded in our brains, it's planted there by years of social evolution. They used to tell me people can't fly. I used to have dreams about flying. Little did I know that one day ( funnily enough, when I grow up) I will learn to fly. Most of my friends fly. True we don't flip-flap our wings and circle around like birds, but flying on the flying trapeze is still flying. No one ever explained what kind of flying it is that I can' t do . They just said I couldn't.
Anyway back to the first times. Watching Madison crawl, or stand up for the first time makes me think. I love the way she persists at it until she succeeds. She tried sitting for so long and flopped on her face so many times. But that didn't discourage her and now I can't even remember the time she wasn't able to sit. the other day she slept on her tummy for the first time. Today she crawled about a foot. So many things we do for the first time and we get excited and then the everyday hits and in a couple of days we start taking it for granted. Walking, talking, eating, flying. The beauty of it is lost forever. I wish I could treasure that first time excitement forever. Isn't that what we live for? the first times? I am sure that if someone told us while we were in the womb that we are going to do the exact same things and never do anything new we wouldn't have even bothered to come out. What a sad place the world would be if there no first smiles, first words and first kisses.

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