I wish I had an account of all the things that went by unannounced, unnoticed.
So many memories, so many times I wanted to write and by the time I got to the computer they had vanished from my head.
Where have the last 3 years gone.
I was reading the post from when Madi was born.
Seems like one day we were coming back from the hospital, freaking out about giving her a bath, the next day she was having seizures and we couldn't sweat the little things any more.
Next thing I know she was heavily medicated and I was pregnant again.
Fast forward 9 terrible months and here comes Max.
I cried the first two nights because I didn't want him. I was petrified and wanted things to be back to normal.
Fast forward 5 month ( I am still not sure about the adjective I would use for this time stretch) Max is sitting up and trying out solids; his sister and he adore each other and have so much fun together and here I am thinking about all the missed opportunities to document all the things happening in my life.
It feels like 3 years have passed me by and I have nothing to account for that time, except two beautiful kids. Sometimes I wonder if that is enough.
I have changed. I can't even begin to contemplate how much I have changed.
It's hard to be the only adult in the household but at the same time I enjoy being a kid more than ever.
Sometimes I wonder if there is even a little bit of me left in me.
I just remembered that two days ago, while in Reno, NV I had to jump in the hot tub with my clothes because Madison was having trouble keeping her head over the bubbles. It always amazes me how in moments like these you don't think about it you just jump in to get your child. The owe spent an hour and a half blow drying my jeans and sneakers.
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